Article Mailer

Your one-stop source, now with 25,673 articles.

Welcome to Article Mailer, your free Article Directory!

ALL » Environment » View Article
By: David Leonhardt101 Uses for Dirty Diapers
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert on dirty diapers. I know exactly what to do with them: throw them out!

But along comes a New York waste company and a town in California who want me to do something else with my dirty diapers. Like cover my roof with them. Or walk on them. Or build a doghouse with them, perhaps.

Does this sound nuts? Well, it's not. In fact, this project just won the world's top happiness award: the 2003 Happy Guy Award (www.The HappyGuy.com).

A few months ago, we lived in a "vertical community". When The Little Lady was born, we wanted to expand our home to make room for her, but our neighbors below objected to us digging a basement, and a front porch would have blocked the hall. So we opted to move out to the country, and with that move we had to sacrifice the diaper service and any environmental high ground we could claim.

Yes, we became what we had always wanted to avoid being: diaper-dumpers.

If you have never had children, you may not realize how much a little child can dispose of. In olden days, a couple would have a dozen kids, give or take a few. In these modern times of disposable diapers that just is not possible – the diapers from the first child take up more place on this planet than several dozen siblings would.

So along comes the town of Santa Clarita and Knowaste Inc. proposing to recycle dirty diapers. Sure, you think, just mix them all together, throw in a bit of water, steam them clean and slap them back on baby.

Ironically, the only product that does not seem to be on the list of end uses is diapers. Roofing shingles, sure. Shoe insoles, yes. But not diapers. As I pondered how the world might look if the massive force of dirty diapers was unleashed, it became clear that there could be several big markets. Imagine the pitches ...

From Milan and Paris: "Next we have Oo-La-La Picotte strutting her stuff in a lovely ensemble of pure recycled diapers. Notice the fashionable fuchsia on the upper tilt of the collar. This line will be all the rage in parlors and bars this spring."

From Detroit and Tokyo: "Feel the energy and invigoration. That's the power of 100% pure recycled diapers under the hood. Go ahead. Kick the tires. Pick your color. And drive away safe in the knowledge that you are being protected by 2000 pound of pure recycled baby poop!"

From Los Angeles: "It's a smash hit. Dirty Diapers II: The Recycled Story opened in theatres across the country yesterday and immediately claimed the number one spot. What a movie!"

From New York and Toronto: "This just in. Citizens are being asked NOT to hoard dirty diapers. I repeat, do NOT hoard dirty diapers. The shortage has already slowed the economy by three percent and housing starts have ground to a halt. Please take all your dirty diapers immediately to a drop-off depot. This has been a public service announcement."

So what will YOU be doing with your dirty diapers?

About the Author

David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy, speaker, author, and publisher of "Your Daily Dose of Happiness" at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.html. Visit him at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com.

 

Carp

Yahoo! News: Most Viewed
Most Viewed

Inside the FLOTUS office (Politico)

Politico - The Oval Office is nearly as familiar an image as the president himself.



FBI director defends bureau over test cheating (AP)

AP - FBI Director Robert Mueller told Congress on Wednesday that he does not know how many of his agents cheated on an important exam on the bureau's policies, discussing an embarrassing investigation that raises questions about whether the FBI knows its own rules for conducting surveillance on Americans.



Chelsea warning: NY town abuzz pre-Clinton wedding (AP)

AP - Never mind that the details about Chelsea Clinton's wedding are being guarded like state secrets. The postcard-pretty town of Rhinebeck is ready for its close-up.



Foreclosures up in 75 percent of top U.S. metro areas (Reuters)

Reuters - Foreclosures rose in 3 of every four large U.S. metro areas in this year's first half, likely ruling out sustained home price gains until 2013, real estate data company RealtyTrac said on Thursday.



EPA: 1M gallons of oil may be in Mich. river (AP)

AP - Federal officials now estimate that more than 1 million gallons of oil may have spilled into a major river in southern Michigan, and the governor is sharply criticizing clean-up efforts as "wholly inadequate."



Pakistan general balances all sides of conflict (AP)

AP - As the U.S. searches for an exit from Afghanistan, it is increasingly relying on Pakistan's powerful army chief to help pave the way — despite fresh allegations that spies under his command have long aided the Taliban.



Heat brings out the cool in zoos across the nation (AP)

AP - Otters sweltering in the summer sun suck on "fishsicles." For carnivores like the Amur leopard, it's "bloodsicles."



Bangladesh raises garment workers' pay 80 percent (AP)
AP - Bangladesh has raised minimum monthly wages for its millions of garment workers by about 80 percent after months of violent protests over poor pay and conditions, a government minister said.
Sex Boosts Brain Growth, Study Suggests (LiveScience.com)
LiveScience.com - Sex apparently can help the brain grow, according to new findings in rats.
Afghan Women and the Return of the Taliban (Time.com)
Time.com - As the U.S. searches for a way out of Afghanistan, some policy-makers suggest negotiating with the Taliban. But that would spell disaster for half the country's population
French woman admits to suffocating newborns (AP)

AP - A French woman who admitted suffocating eight of her newborns and concealing their corpses in the garden and garage of her home was charged with manslaughter Thursday, a prosecutor said Thursday.



Lakers center Bynum has successful knee surgery (Reuters)
Reuters - Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum is expected to play a limited role in pre-season training after having successful arthroscopic knee surgery on Wednesday.
South Korea's prime minister offers to resign (AP)

AP - South Korea's prime minister offered to resign Thursday after parliament shot down his efforts to scrap a plan that would relocate several government ministries out of the capital.



Exxon Mobil's 2Q earnings more than double (AP)
AP - Exxon Mobil Corp. said Thursday its second quarter income nearly doubled to $7.56 billion as oil prices increased from last year.
Review: `Dinner for Schmucks' an unsatisfying meal (AP)

AP - There's a lot less bite in "Dinner for Schmucks" than there was in the classic French farce that was its inspiration.




Newsfeed display by CaRP